Talking about A Memorial Day Tribute
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A Memorial Day Tribute
History salutes the American soldier.
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Rules for the Non-Military
'We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand.
Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass.
2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest - kick their ass.
3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.
4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be 'Special Forces, Collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.
5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them, 'Do you fly a jet ?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves a n ass-kicking (children are exempt).
6. If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard "non-military", Inform them of their mistake - and kick their ass.
7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her, - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.
8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation.
Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief(CinC). The President, (for those who didn't know) ,is our CinC Regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked.
9. 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me - stop saying It ! If she did wear them, she would most likely be a vet and therefore could kick your ass !
10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is ! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me, if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass !
11. 'Flyboy' (Air Force*), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your ass kicked.
12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families.. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get it's ass kicked..'
'It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.'
'It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech..'
'It' s the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.'
'It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.’
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Rules for the Non-Military
'We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand.
Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass.
2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest - kick their ass.
3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.
4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be 'Special Forces, Collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.
5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them, 'Do you fly a jet ?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves a n ass-kicking (children are exempt).
6. If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard "non-military", Inform them of their mistake - and kick their ass.
7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her, - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.
8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation.
Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief(CinC). The President, (for those who didn't know) ,is our CinC Regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked.
9. 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me - stop saying It ! If she did wear them, she would most likely be a vet and therefore could kick your ass !
10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is ! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me, if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass !
11. 'Flyboy' (Air Force*), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your ass kicked.
12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families.. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get it's ass kicked..'
'It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.'
'It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech..'
'It' s the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.'
'It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.’ 
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Rush Limbaugh’s Updated Undeniable Truths
1. There is a distinct singular American culture- rugged individualism and self-reliance - which made America great. 2. The vast majority of the rich in this country did not inherit their wealth; they earned it. They are the country's achievers, producers, and job creators. 3. No nation has ever taxed itself into prosperity. 4. Evidence refutes liberalism. 5. There is no such thing as a New Democrat. 6. The Earth's eco-system is not fragile. 7. Character matters; leadership decends from character. 8. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down. 9. Ronald Reagan was the greatest president of the twentieth century. 10. The 1980s was not a decade of greed but a decade of prosperity; it was the longest period of peacetime growth in American history. 11. Abstinence prevents sexually transmitted disease and pregnancy -every time it's tried. 12. Condoms only work during the school year. 13. Poverty is not the root ("rut") cause of crime. 14. There's a simple way to solve the crime problem: obey the law; punish those who do not. 15. If you commit a crime, you are guilty. 16. Women should not be allowed on juries where the accused is a stud. 17. The way to improve our schools is not more money, but the reintroduction of moral and spiritual values, as well as the four "R's": reading, 'riting, 'rithmatic, and Rush. 18. I am not arrogant. 19. My first 35 Undeniable Truths are still undeniably true. 20. There is a God. 21. There is something wrong when critics say the problem with America is too much religion. 22. Morality is not defined by individual choice. 23. The only way liberals win national elections is by pretending they're not liberals. 24. Feminism was established as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society. 25. Follow the money. When somebody says, "It's not the money," it's always the money. 26. Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box. 27. Using federal dollars as a measure, our cities have not been neglected, but poisoned with welfare dependency funds. 28. Progress is not striving for economic justice or fairness, but economic growth. 29. Liberals measure compassion by how many people are given welfare. Conservatives measure compassion by how many people no longer need it. 30. Compassion is no substitute for justice. 31. The culture war is between the winners and those who think they're losers who want to become winners. The losers think the only way they can become winners is by banding together all the losers and then empowering a leader of the losers to make things right for them. 32. The Los Angeles riots were not caused by the Rodney King verdict. The Los Angeles riots were caused by rioters. 33. You could afford your house without your government - if it weren't for your government. 34. Words mean things. 35. Too many Americans can't laugh at themselves anymore.
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Rush Limbaugh’s Updated Undeniable Truths
1. There is a distinct singular American culture- rugged individualism and self-reliance - which made America great. 2. The vast majority of the rich in this country did not inherit their wealth; they earned it. They are the country's achievers, producers, and job creators. 3. No nation has ever taxed itself into prosperity. 4. Evidence refutes liberalism. 5. There is no such thing as a New Democrat. 6. The Earth's eco-system is not fragile. 7. Character matters; leadership decends from character. 8. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down. 9. Ronald Reagan was the greatest president of the twentieth century. 10. The 1980s was not a decade of greed but a decade of prosperity; it was the longest period of peacetime growth in American history. 11. Abstinence prevents sexually transmitted disease and pregnancy -every time it's tried. 12. Condoms only work during the school year. 13. Poverty is not the root ("rut") cause of crime. 14. There's a simple way to solve the crime problem: obey the law; punish those who do not. 15. If you commit a crime, you are guilty. 16. Women should not be allowed on juries where the accused is a stud. 17. The way to improve our schools is not more money, but the reintroduction of moral and spiritual values, as well as the four "R's": reading, 'riting, 'rithmatic, and Rush. 18. I am not arrogant. 19. My first 35 Undeniable Truths are still undeniably true. 20. There is a God. 21. There is something wrong when critics say the problem with America is too much religion. 22. Morality is not defined by individual choice. 23. The only way liberals win national elections is by pretending they're not liberals. 24. Feminism was established as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society. 25. Follow the money. When somebody says, "It's not the money," it's always the money. 26. Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box. 27. Using federal dollars as a measure, our cities have not been neglected, but poisoned with welfare dependency funds. 28. Progress is not striving for economic justice or fairness, but economic growth. 29. Liberals measure compassion by how many people are given welfare. Conservatives measure compassion by how many people no longer need it. 30. Compassion is no substitute for justice. 31. The culture war is between the winners and those who think they're losers who want to become winners. The losers think the only way they can become winners is by banding together all the losers and then empowering a leader of the losers to make things right for them. 32. The Los Angeles riots were not caused by the Rodney King verdict. The Los Angeles riots were caused by rioters. 33. You could afford your house without your government - if it weren't for your government. 34. Words mean things. 35. Too many Americans can't laugh at themselves anymore.
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Talking about THREE THINGS TO PONDOR
Talking about THREE THINGS TO PONDOR
THREE THINGS TO PONDER
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
THE CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
Filed under: News and politics
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Talking about THREE THINGS TO PONDOR
Talking about THREE THINGS TO PONDOR
THREE THINGS TO PONDER
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
THE CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
Filed under: News and politics
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Retrosexual Code
RETROSEXUAL CODE
A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.
A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.
A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.
A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods).
A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.
A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be.
This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.
A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.
A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.
A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women.
Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a frou-frou little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.
A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak tree chipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.
A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.
A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot.
A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.
A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.
A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot.
Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part.
A Retrosexual man's favorite movie isn't "Maid in Manhattan" (unless that refers to some foxy French maid sitting in a huge tub of brandy or whiskey), or "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood." Acceptable ones may include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in his better days), Rambo I or II, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy, Scarface, The Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, Rocky I, II, or III, Full Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt, any Bruce Lee movie, Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, etc.etc.
When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.
A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner.
A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.
A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.
A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20 mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride on a plow berm.
A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants.
Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land.
A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except officers above 2nd Lt)
NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.
A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.
A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT.
Filed under: News and politics
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Retrosexual Code
RETROSEXUAL CODE
A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.
A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.
A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.
A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods).
A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.
A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be.
This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.
A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.
A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.
A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women.
Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a frou-frou little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.
A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak tree chipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.
A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.
A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot.
A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.
A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.
A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot.
Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part.
A Retrosexual man's favorite movie isn't "Maid in Manhattan" (unless that refers to some foxy French maid sitting in a huge tub of brandy or whiskey), or "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood." Acceptable ones may include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in his better days), Rambo I or II, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy, Scarface, The Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, Rocky I, II, or III, Full Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt, any Bruce Lee movie, Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, etc.etc.
When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.
A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner.
A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.
A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.
A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20 mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride on a plow berm.
A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants.
Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land.
A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except officers above 2nd Lt)
NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.
A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.
A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT. 
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Amanda becomes a statistic
The call that every parent dreads came Wednesday. I was at work when a frantic Melisa called me and said Amanda had been in an accident. Amanda was okay but was shaken up bad after her air bag deployed. Worse, the other driver fled the scene. The officer at the scene told us two good Samaritans had stopped and one even chased the other driver down to get her to return. The woman refused but the car description and plate # was provided to the police. Melisa took Amanda to the Emergency Room where they checked her over and gave some pain pills. She suffered a few burns from the air bag deployment and some nasty bruises. She was very upset about her little car, but we reminded her the car is just metal and plastic and doesn’t mean anything. The car did not fair so well, however, I was impressed at the Hyundai Accent’s safety. None of the glass shattered, the crumple zones worked and it kept my daughter safe.
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